Category: Family & Parenting

Defusing the Enemy

I have not written for quite some time now because life happened. Things came at me fast and furious and I duped myself into believing that I had no time, and that what I had to say in the midst of my storm, was nothing of interest. I repent; I have a change of mind. What I have to say is all about how my Lover-Daddy has been helping me and keeping me and because trials are not unique to me, perhaps what I write of my experience may be useful to someone reading here today. So I’m forgetting the past and beginning the record of things going forward. One of the crises I’ve been embroiled in is within my home, two adult children of differing worldviews and levels of maturity in Christ. A very stressful place to be; the present situation surrounds a loaf of bread. My day was so packed with things to do on yesterday and it culminated with the good news of the opening up of a business opportunity that would make a difference financially, another crisis we face. In my tiredness, joy and exuberance, I neglected to say to my precious daughter on the phone on her way home from work that I had not bought bread for dinner. When she arrived home and there was no bread she literally blew a fuse. The...

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How Can We Protect Ourselves from Predators?

How Can We Protect Ourselves from Predators? Review of Predators, Pedophiles, Rapists & Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, And How We Can Protect Ourselves And Our Children by Anna Salter, Ph.D Dr. Salter received a Master’s degree in Child Study and a Ph.D in Psychology and Public Practice, and she has been building her expertise in child abuse since the 1970s.  She makes her position clear in the: “Victims were the result, not the cause, of the problem.”  What, if anything, can be done about offenders?  To determine an answer, Dr. Salter interviewed offenders and developed...

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Is It Possible to Identify a Potential Abuser?

Review of It Happens Every Day: Inside the World of a Sex Crimes D. A. By Robin Sax Robin Sax is an expert on sex crimes against children. She was a Los Angeles County Deputy District Attorney who prosecuted offenders for the child sexual assault division. As an attorney and advocate for victims’ rights, she appears to be as passionate as she is knowledgable. Sax says she wrote the book to illustrate what transpires when a district attorney prosecutes a child sexual assault case. Using a no-nonsense style of writing, Sax shows the reader how the criminal justice system works, or does not work, for its victims. She incorporates case studies as well as descriptions of crime scenes and victim statements to get her main point across: “child sexual assault has become a social epidemic.” The book is divided into two parts, “Behind the One-Way Mirror” and “Behind Counsel Table.” Sax shows ways in which cases are investigated, how children are treated through the process, and what happens when a perpetrator is convicted. The reader learns about the justice system without the sensationalism of TV court drama. Sax provides an extensive appendix, separates fact from fiction, and offers her expert opinions. Whether or not a victim pursues a criminal charge against a perpetrator, this is what Robin Sax knows for sure: sex crimes “will affect the victim’s outlook on life,...

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How Do We Talk To Children About Sexual Abuse?

There is no math formula to teach children to protect themselves from potential abusers. Parents have to take the initiative to discuss the realities of our society’s ugly side. Here is a review of a book intended for young children, that may open lines of communication. Those Are My Private Parts by Diane Hansen How do we talk to our children about sexual abuse? What can parents and caregivers say to prevent child sexual abuse? In a society that spends more funding dollars on intervention instead of prevention, Diane Hansen, author of Those Are My Private Parts, has found a simple yet ingenious way to answer those questions. Her book is illustrated with child-friendly drawings in primary colors. The text carries short rhythms with great messages. Every educator and caregiver, as well as children’s advocacy centers, should have a copy of this book as a tool to empower children. Diane Hansen was spurred to action when she heard a perpetrator of sexual abuse on The Oprah Winfrey Show. The convicted child molester revealed how he had used secret tactics and tricks to coerce children into sex acts. A child molester claimed that it is harder to manipulate children who realize the danger. And the danger does not lie solely with a stranger: 93-95% of victims know the attacker! The sting of betrayal runs deep when a child has been...

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Knowledge is Power! Protecting Children from Family Sexual Abusers

There is no profile for a family sexual abuser because they can be anyone. They can be charming, loving, good parents, good neighbours, good husbands or brothers or dads. They can be Christians, Buddhists, Muslims or Atheists. They can be talented, gifted, educated, poor, rich, old, young, good providers, and great members of community. They can also be our leaders in church, work, sports and government, but for this one thing that crosses all barriers of decency, trust and honour; and they cross it. There is an imbalance of power within the home or organisation and the child has...

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Should adult adoptees have access to their own records

I did not write this, this is a research paper done by Gina Miller an adult adoptee. But for the record I am also an adult adoptee and I believe we should be allowed to access anything and everything pertaining to how we came into being and our live in general. http://… Research Paper Gina Miller   Should Adult Adoptees Have Access to Their Own Records? In 1965, Jeff Hancock was born in the city of Buffalo and had lived in Western New York State his entire life. Jeff was used to crossing the U.S./Canadian border for business and pleasure as a routine part of his life. In late 2006, the U.S. State Department announced plans to require all U.S. citizens to possess a U.S. Passport for the purpose of entering and returning from Canada. Jeff began to get documents in order, and requested his birth certificate from his mother as part of the application process for a United States Passport. His mother was very reluctant to give him his birth certificate, and only provided it after Jeff mentioned that he could purchase a replacement copy through his state’s Vital Records Department. This is how Jeff found out at age 41 that he was adopted. At this point the term “birth certificate” needs to be defined. Adoptees actually have two birth certificates. The first certificate is the “Original Birth...

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