Category: Friendships

The Cycles of Friendship – “Thanks for Stopping By”

The Cycles of Friendship – “Thanks for Stopping By…” Over the last 4 years I have experienced some of the biggest, bad ass and yet most bountiful shifts in my life. I left a marriage… and found my self. I lost close friends…. and opened to new family. I dumped definitions…. and fell in love with my no labels no veils sublimely naked spirit. And in the end I came home… to me. Through this experience of floating in a sea of change (learning to not attempt to swim upstream against the current of the cosmos), one of the...

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Say “YES” When Lovely Gifts Are Offered

“It is better to give than to receive.” I remember hearing this statement hundreds of times when I was a child. I heard it said by teachers, “wise people” in the community, rabbis, priests, movie stars and news reporters on the radio and then TV.  I have a feeling that I wasn’t the only child that interpreted those words as meaning you weren’t such a good child if you let people buy or give you things – that you were a little “less than” if you accepted gifts too easily. You should be the “Giver”.  Of course it was...

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Five Hundred Lunches and Counting

I’ve been having lunch with the same three women nearly every week for the past 12-15 years, depending on which of us you ask. We have all known each other for longer than that, and our lunches began innocuously enough – four friends from the same community getting together to chat and share some gossip. None of us imagined that our weekly lunches would become a treasured and important part of our lives, an appointment we rarely miss and always look forward to, saving good and not-so-good news to share over a bowl of pho or a barbecue chicken...

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“Say YES To You & Others During the Storm.”

I never thought I’d be singing the song “You’ll Never Walk Alone” while looking outside the window of my neighbor’s fifth floor apartment, which is located next to mine, in a lovely apartment building just off the East River in Manhattan.  I was using Oscar Hammerstein’s lyrics to calm us as we saw waves pummeling up our street. “When you walk through a storm hold your head up high and don’t be afraid of the dark!”  I think of those lyrics and the tears fill my eyes. His lyrics (with Richard Rodger’s melodies and, in Show Boat, Jerome Kern’s...

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You Be The Judge?

Next to deceit, judging others is possibly the worst of all human flaws.  Everyone is a judge, yes, including me.  What if we step outside of ourselves for a moment and analyze what makes us do so?  Some people judge others as a reflection of their own shortcomings to further create a smokescreen for the same thing they are judging others about.  There is a saying when you point a finger at someone, three fingers point back at you.  If we truly look deep within ourselves, we don’t only see our strong traits but our weaknesses as well.  When we do so, we would know that the very thing we judge others about is the weaknesses we somehow cannot change within us. In Matthew 7:1-6, Jesus warns about judging others.  He wants us to change what needs to be changed before we look at what they need to change.  To understand our own weaknesses, strengthen them, and then that strength will manifest itself in our actions which will then be a testimony to others which they can learn from.  This is the “plank” that Jesus talks about.  The very thing we judge another with what is impaled inside us and needs to be removed.  Have you ever met anyone who WANTS to be told what to do?  Isn’t it the saying that “actions speak louder than words?”    So how...

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“Saying “YES” to YOU – May Mean Saying “NO” to Someone Else”

The title of this post is probably the hardest thing I’ll ever have to learn, given who I am.  My inner drive is to be a helper.  I can’t help it. I was born with that “I AM” in my soul. Believe me, I’m still working on this on a daily basis.  If this is somewhat of a repeat of a former post, it’s because I have to keep working on it and – I bet a few Here Women Talk readers need help in this area too. One thing I sense from the group on the site is...

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