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Alasha, referred to lovingly as The Dating Mechani... Read more


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Don’t Let One Bad Apple Spoil The Bunch!
04/13/12

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Alasha,

I found out a few months ago my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me with another woman. We have since broken up. After taking a closer look at the relationship I can see where I overlooked things that were clearly an indication that he was going to be unfaithful. I am tired of getting beat up by love. Love never works out for me. I don’t have the energy or desire to start new relationships anymore. What do I do?

~Future Cat Lady

I am an avid strawberry picker. A year does not go by that I don’t find myself at the local strawberry patch. My knowledge of strawberries has become very extensive over the years so I know when they are in season. Even with this knowledge, all winter long I wanted strawberries. Every time I went to the grocery store to get my vegetables for the week I would see them sitting in the produce section. Every week I would see the strawberries, walk over to them and give them a sniff. My senses would go wild and the strawberries would end up in my basket.  Every week my mouth watered with anticipation of how wonderful the fruit would taste once I got it home and washed it off. Every week I was surprised when I bit into the fruit and it wasn’t as sweet as I thought it would be.

Almost every week of winter my desire for the taste of just ONE sweet strawberry couldn’t be resisted. Where was I going wrong I wondered? I checked the fruit to make sure it smelled good, it didn’t have any visible rotten parts, the price was right and I had the money. All the elements I needed at the moment to make an informed decision to buy the fruit seemed in place and yet constantly I was baffled. I went as far as to find myself upset with the store wondering why they would sell fruit that didn’t taste good. Week after week, carton after carton I insisted on buying the strawberries, letting my desire win over my knowledge. I finally stopped buying the fruit when I was ready to let go of what I wanted the fruit to be and decided to wait until the season came in when I knew the fruit would be at its full potential.

Often relationships have been likened to fruit. We want to experience the goodness in people and how they can make us feel. Sometimes we forget to stay grounded in what we know and because we see potential we ignore the signs that keep us from getting too deeply involved. Does it mean we give up and never try again? No, it just means that we must not be blinded by our desires and refuse to look at the reality of a situation.

The Dating Mechanic

I want to hear from you! To submit a dating question for the column. Email me at info@alashabennett.com


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