I’m worried about my youngest brother; he is marrying the wrong girl! He is so blinded by love he can’t see what the rest of us siblings see. He and his girlfriend have been dating on and off for three years. She is a sneaky, conniving and a back stabber. She is very flirtatious with other men and has been caught having lunch dates with men that are not my brother. Besides that, if it’s not enough, she is not loving or nurturing towards my brother. She is very cold and treats him like he couldn’t do any better than her. I love my brother very much and am afraid she will break his heart, what can I do?
Nathan’s Big Sister
You love your brother, this I can tell. You can show him evidence of his unworthy spouse to be and it can make all the difference in the world or none at all. This may be a little hard to consider Sis, but as family we have to learn how to take a step back and let others make their own path. There are lessons each one of us have to learn in life and can only do so by living it. As bad as you want to steer him from pain, how fair would it be to him if you took away what will ultimately drive him to live out his life purpose. The events in our lives shape and mold us into the people we are to become. We choose experiences because we want to feel that something, whatever it is, first hand and not through the eyes of others. If you take him away from this path he will no doubt pursue another experience with the same elements.
What’s more important here is for you to be okay with the choice your brother decides to make. That means not holding it against him later by repeatedly saying “I told you so”, if the relationship goes sour and to be there for him when he needs you. Let your brother know that you support him and you care for him by letting him steer his own car and not be a side seat driver but help him navigate only when he asks you for direction.
The Dating Mechanic
I want to hear from you! To submit a dating question for the column, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org