Please read this first paragraph while humming the Bee Gees song “Tragedy” in your head.
On December 16th I will turn 57 years old. As I face this new birthday I can’t help but notice the changes in the celebration of it. Well meaning people who used to send me funny, sexy or silly birthday cards now send me deeply religious birthday greetings that waiver very close to the line of a sympathy card. Evidently, when you reach a certain age you should start thinking more about the hereafter than having a kick ass celebration. A friend, whom I adore, is taking me to a special lunch “if you’re up to it” that I believe may be more of a “Last Supper.” Others have begun to ask me what I intend to do after retirement. Don’t get me wrong. I adore these people and I’m so grateful that they love me and remember me on my special day, but it is a bit premature to be speaking of me in the past tense in hushed tones. At this point I halfway expect to be taken to a room where I will be shown gorgeous nature movies and disposed of only to be turned into little green wafers to feed the masses like in the film, Soilent Green.
When did this morose view of our more mature years take root? Where is it written that I have to live my life for someone else or according to the views of a society who thinks it’s time for me to just hunker down and quietly fade off into the sunset. I’m not Mother Teresa or a cowboy. I’m me and this is my journey. I’ve just begun! Like me for it, hate me for it or think I’m insane, but I ain’t stopping for anyone. I have too much to do.
As I was growing up in my small Virginia town I was full of dreams I wanted to attain. The most important to me, to be a writer. I had written for my own enjoyment all of my life and systematically stored the pages on a closet shelf. I was a married woman with children and worked as a secretary and was told by my elders that it was time to put away childish things. The stories on the shelf were thrown away. The dream of writing along with others were stifled. But they never died.
When I reached the age of 49 I made the life altering decision to pursue my dreams. I had raised two wonderful daughters to adulthood, had two amazing granddaughters and was no longer shackled (I mean married.) Now I have nothing against marriage and I think it is wonderful when it works, but it just wasn’t in the cards for me. So what was next?
I realized that it was time to go get those dreams. It didn’t matter how old I was or how uninformed. How green. God gives us one life and he expects us to live it to the fullest. We all have dreams. It’s just a matter of going after them. They aren’t going to come to you. You have to be willing to sacrifice, work and go get them. With my oldest daughter, Christa, who is an actor, I did just that. We moved to Los Angeles where she is involved in a busy acting career and I am a playwright, producer and screen writer. I have created, write and produce a comedy webseries called, “Dixiewood” which is loosely based on Christa’s and my life as country people learning to cope with Los Angeles and am currently researching to write a biographical film on actor, Micheal Dunn. I have also written the play, My Husband Is My Sister-In-Law, which was up for an NAACP Theatre Award and is facing the possibility of becoming a film.
I continue to pursue the dreams. I have learned that not only do they never go away, but that they are still attainable. This holds true for everyone. When I was 12 years old, I was the biggest “Monkees” fan in the world. I never missed a show or an album. Their photos were pasted all over my room. I dreamed of being in California and seeing them in concert. My daddy started saving money to take us to Los Angeles on vacation to try to help me attain that dream, but he was critically ill and it was never to be. Daddy passed away at 51. 45 years later, this past July that dream came true for me when my daughter took me to The Greek, a beautiful open air theatre here in Los Angeles, to see “The Monkees” in concert. For those two fabulous hours I was not a 56 year old with teenaged granddaughters. I was that 12 year old girl living her dream. At one point in the concert I looked up to the sky which was so gorgeous and whispered, “Daddy, will you just look where I am. We made it.” So standing there, holding hands with my adult child, both of us with tears running down our face at the magic of it all, I knew that dreams do come true. One off the bucket list.
Today, after I finish talking with you, I will go and begin writing a script for a new episode of my webseries, Dixiewood. A feat I tend to equate to labor and delivery. It’s hard work. We finance everything ourselves and continue to work 40 hour a week jobs as well to finance our dreams. For now. Hopefully the day will come when that won’t be necessary. We continue to struggle and feel our way through the tough maze that is the entertainment industry and thank God continue to make headway. I have a list of projects and dreams to attain a mile long ahead of me. I have mistakes to make, joys to experience and things to learn. I am not done until I say I’m done. Or God says it.
Yes. I’ll be 57 on December 16, but inside I am still that young girl. True my body may be like a battered old suede suitcase and my face may have more lines than a map of Venezuela, but I am the same young girl with the same dreams. So when you wish me Happy Birthday, celebrate a life in progress not a life in decline.
Helloooo Theresa! Your blog just spoke to me…” Old Ladyjustice” will be 57 also on Christmas Eve! Is it really that bad… No! Just because I have a physical disability, even my own family members worry and think I’m old. “What are we gonna do with Donna crap! Leave that stuff for my 78 year old mother! Well, I’ve never been busier and more fulfilled in most areas of my life. “If you’re up to it!” What a crock! ‘Just keep doing what you’re doing and leave others on the dust! If you want to celebrate together, let me know. Thus far, I have no offers, as others probably think I’m packing for the skilled nursing facility! No way!
‘Wish they would get a clue!
Thanks!
Donna-“Ladyjustice”
http://www.donnagore.com
Hello Kindred Spirit! And an early Happy Birthday. It’s funny, isn’t it how folks make these assumptions on who were are and where we are at our age without knowing our hearts and spirits. It truly is the best time in life isn’t it? I am determined to prove everyone of my naysayers wrong, lol. I’m a stubborn woman and I have many things on my life list to accomplish. Like a kid in a candy store.
You keep on rockin’ and keep on showing them who you are and what you can do. I have a sneaky feeling that we haven’t even begun to see your accomplishments!
Theresa
Hi again Theresa: I see that a lot of people feel as we do… With 55 surgeries and a homicide to my credit, I’ll never stop. By the way, I went to graduate school at Kansas State University, “the little apple” in Manhattan Kansas and the real “Dorothy and Toto land.” You never live that down… However, it was the beginnings of disability rights, Women’s Studies programs and Gloria Steinem,. I truly loved it and was in my element! However, I haven’t been back in 30+ years… ‘Hope you’ll have a chance to review what I have to offer on my website. I LOVE to write!
Thanks,
Donna/”Ladyjustice”
this year the candles cost more than the cake……..
But they could never shine as brilliantly as you!
Theresa-
*Chuckle* I just turned the big 57 on the 3rd of this month. Happy Birthday- BTW!!
Your article brought many smiles from me with knowing, the younger part of ourselves do lie within others. People have looked at me and asked, “well, you’re so old, why are you still able to keep up?” I have to smile and say, “it’s because I still have teenagers in my house,” (which, it’s an acceptable answer,) but deep down, and within the reality of who I am- I’m still young- young at heart- and most of all, young at spirit. I don’t feel my age, although, there are those mornings when I walk like a, “grandma” when I first arise, but 4 aspirin cures that- and that’s when, I’m good to go!
Age is just a perception in peoples minds- you’re as young as you feel!
Blessings…
Lol, I have those mornings too, Shari. Every now and then I definitely feel like my giddy-up got up and went, but like you, I am young at heart. I’m loving this phase of my life. You rock on, girl.
Hi- I think age is just about how long we have been here on earth and how many memories we have ticked away and are making on a daily basis.
I feel like a kid even though this year had some medical problems, but they did not stop me and they turned out to be not that bad. my doctors are amazed that I am on only 1 prescription I think it’s one too many. 🙂 enjoy your birthday! You derserve it. elizabeth
Hi Elizabeth,
I’m so glad you’re medical problems weren’t more serious. I think it’s so important that we don’t allow age or other people’s perceptions to define us. I also love your definition of age. Awesome!
Let me start by wishing you a happy birthday. I’m just about the same age: I’ll be 57 next month. And I understand completely how you feel. I didn’t hit my stride until my fifties. Then I had two novels published, became a ski bum, and started TheSkiDiva.com, the leading online community for women’s skiing. It took me a long time to realize that the most important thing in life is to do what you love; that being happy and satisfied with your life is far more important than meeting societal expectations. Kudos to you for pursuing your dreams! And enjoy another year’s ride around the sun.
You know Wendy, you said it, do what makes you happy. I am so inspired by what you have done with your life. It makes me smile to see these strong women here defying society’s concept of mature women. I can honestly say that I am happier than I’ve ever been. I am a better mother, a better friend and a better person at this point in my life. And, I have gained the wisdom to appreciate the good things in my life and the opportunities. I wouldn’t go back in age for the world. This is such an exciting time.
I love this post, Theresa! Hearing you tell about going after your dreams, when earlier you were told to put away childish things, that is inspiring and uplifting! You just went ahead and did it. You didn’t worry about how. THAT motivates me.
Congratulations on your 57 years! You’re still a young chick. I promise you, when you’re 87, you’ll think 57 was still a baby. Thanks for the smiles.
Thank you so much Kay. I’m so glad it made you smile.
If I’ve learned anything it’s that we can all do it. Like Dorothy having the power to go home to Kansas. She had it all along. For me it happened to be making a huge move and life change. It isn’t necessarily that for others. Your dreams can come true at any age right on your own doorstep. The only person who can stop them is you.
Great article. So very well said! As I approach my birthday in a few months, the younger girls in the office look at me in awe. As if they’ve never seen someone who lived past 36 before and didn’t need a rocking chair. It’s really funny. Keep writing and living your dreams! It’s inspirational to all of us.
Thank you so much, Christa. I was so proud when you told me last night that this article inspired you to do some things you’ve wanted to do but haven’t attempted. When I saw you snuggled on the couch writing a story for a comedy website, I was just glowing inside. Way to go young lady! Follow those dreams. They’re just sitting there waiting for you to come and get them.