The title of this post is probably the hardest thing I’ll ever have to learn, given who I am. My inner drive is to be a helper. I can’t help it. I was born with that “I AM” in my soul.
Believe me, I’m still working on this on a daily basis. If this is somewhat of a repeat of a former post, it’s because I have to keep working on it and – I bet a few Here Women Talk readers need help in this area too. One thing I sense from the group on the site is that you’re the most loving, caring group of people I could find! That often means, caring for everyone else– sometimes at the expense of YOU.
I just recommitted to saying No, when necessary, after having a lovely half-hour session with Dan Sullivan of Nightingale Conant. I was gifted that session for having bought a Wayne Dyer program from the company. This is the second time I’ve gotten to spend a half hour with Dan on the phone and he is a delight. I felt he deserved a plug. See? I’m a helper. Can’t help it! I said that my biggest goal right now was figuring out which project was #1 on my agenda. It never occurred to me that the answer that revealed itself would be: “Saying YES to me and saying NO to others when saying “yes” to them would keep me from helping myself. Dan also suggested I keep practicing it and have FUN with it. This is what I’m always coaching others to do in my style and also my rejuvenation workshops. We teach what we need to learn.
Wouldn’t ya know, the moment I made the decision to make this my priority, until it becomes natural for me to act on my behalf, I get contacted by someone who I didn’t realize was in the “time taker” category. I found myself getting all the body sensations I’d get when I was doing something I was terrified of doing and I realized I had to get her off the phone. I love her and wish her well and…I had to get her off the phone or I’d never get my work done, which included writing my October post for Here Women Talk. I finally did extricate myself from the conversation and …WOW…I found the topic for my Say YES to YOU post!
I do sense that when we make a commitment to take on new and more productive methods of accomplishing things that are important to us, the universe sends us little tests. This one came so quickly I had no time to prepare. From now on I’ll know to say what my time restrictions are regarding the conversation as soon as I notice that it’s could become a “time waster” for me.
I have a feeling I’m not the only one who experiences “time wasters”. The projects they’re talking about may be wonderful. However they may not be your projects. You can put a smile in your voice and say you’d love to hear about their project at a later time, but that at the moment you need to complete an assignment. It is an assignment, even if you assigned it to yourself. I’ve also learned that giving my opinion or likes and dislikes re any subject they want to talk about isn’t necessary. I used to feel as though I needed to connect with them and make them feel important by discussing my preferences regarding the issues in the conversation. I don’t have to. I can just say YES to me and to how I spend my time. You can say YES to YOU!