Alasha,

I’ve always had a hard time breaking it off with someone I am dating. My normal breakup routine is dodging phone calls, hoping they will eventually get the point or avoiding places I know that person is likely to go.  I can admit I probably carry on relationships longer than I should for fear that I will hurt the person’s feelings. How can I tell someone I am no longer interested in seeing them without being rude or hurting their feelings?

Tamara, Texas

Tamara,

How awful someone must feel when you refuse to speak to them and they know they have done nothing wrong. It is time for you to start being straight up with others.  Express your intentions for the relationship from the beginning. Be open and honest by telling others what you are looking for. Don’t lead anyone on causing confusion. You hold back yourself as well as others from being with their perfect mate when you influence an attachment that is mismatched. Practice break-up lines making it easier to stay true to who you are and what you are looking for. You can come up with your own but here is one to get you started.

“Thank you for taking the time to get to know me but I don’t feel we are compatible as potential partners. It was nice to have met you and I wish you the best.”

Being clear about what you want from a relationship is essential. If you are uncertain about what you are looking for in a mate you will consistently miss out on compatible companions. Understanding how ready you are for the type of relationship you desire is the first step. Click here to take a simple quiz to assess your readiness for the union you seek.

The Dating Mechanic

 

I want to hear from you! To submit a dating question for the column, email me at [email protected]