Let My Puppies Go
Most of us were at least in diapers in the 60’s when women in great numbers started to roar. The night skies were alight with bonfires burning…what else—their bras? But not me. I had waited way too long to sprout enough to need a bra—how could I give it up without a fight? So I kept my medieval torture chamber with straps, wearing it proudly as a badge of honor for that rite of passage.
Motherhood brought on a whole new bra phase—the nursing bra became my constant
companion. Never leave home, go to bed or even take a shower without it. Wet, sour and sagging…‘nough said.
Next entered the divorced bras. You know the ones, décolleté and slinky. So what if I had to roll the girls up to get them in there?
Now I’m a boomer A.K.A. ‘bloomer’. Those days of wishing to fill up a B cup have long gone.
Years, gravity, and pounds have had their toll and now we’re into extra heavy-duty industrial bras. They come complete with enough steel wire to retread the radials on my car. They poke and pinch and otherwise annoy me until dinner time…that’s when I’ve had enough. At that point, where am I going and who’s coming here? After dinner it’s all bras off. Ahhh, sweet freedom.
The only thing is…my friends don’t understand why I have dinner at two o’clock!
Jane
Originally published September 21, 2012
Lucy (the left one) and Rita (the right one) thank you. Yes. I named them. There. I said it.
Lucy…I’m cracking up…thanks for sharing!
Oops…sorry to get familiar with Lucy…I meant to say Carol…geez…LOL!
In the interest of full disclosure…Charrlotte (left) and Emma (right)… collectively referred to as ‘the girls’, or when I have had perhaps one glass of wine too many… ‘my bitches’.
LOL…you ladies…and your…girls…are cracking me up! Thanks for your comments!
Oh, and Tina? My luck, she will be 90 and her little boobies will still be sticking straight out! I’ll need a third hand to hold the brassiere while I roll the ol’ ‘fun bags’ up and stuff ’em in. :p
Too funny! It would probably be even funnier if I were still 18… it’s not quite as funny when I can relate as well now.
I believe it was about age 12 that my BFF, Talia, and I first began praying to the boob fairy… and did we ever pray! We probably prayed harder to the boob fairy than we did for a light homework load come Friday afternoons.
Were our prayers answered? Girl, were they ever answered!! I say this with all modesty… by the time high school rolled around, me and Talia were the envy of St Elizabeth’s. And, we were in ‘boob heaven’!
Fast forward to September 2012. I just turned 27. My once round and proud 36D’s are not quite so proud now. Granted, part of that may be due to the fact that the intervening years found me quite often ‘sans brassiere’.
Yeah… yeah… yeah… I know. I’ve gotten the same lecture from Tina, my wife, more than once in the six years we have been together. “But, you’ll still love me even when I have to tuck my boobs in the waistband of my skirt, right? Right? Honey… right?”
I look in the mirror now and I have to ask myself… “Did you really have to pray so much, Roni? Couldn’t you have been just as happy with a bit less? Look at Tina – 32B and happy as a damn clam!”
I wear a bra religiously now, although I fear the damage is done, and time is certainly no longer my friend. When describing my boobs, ‘big, firm and perky’ has been replaced with ‘big, soft and not-so-perky’ (don’t make me say ‘saggy’, please!!)
I don’t even want to think about what 40 is going to bring, and when 50 rolls around? *shudders!*
Somewhere, that damn boob fairy is probably laughing her ass off at my ‘predicament’.
Would it be bad karma for me to pray for her tits to fall off?
Thanks for your comments, Veronica…I do think this is a topic that we can all identify with…all too much!
We needed some humor on the home page, Jane, so I moved your blog post onto http://www.HereWomenTalk.com. Also featured it on our fb page at https://www.facebook.com/HereWomenTalk1. Thanks for the giggles.
Thanks Kay…what a pleasant surprise! You always make me smile!
This is still as wonderful as the first time I read it! S M I L E S!
Thanks so much…now you make me smile!
Thanks for the chuckles! Funny … and so true. I can relate. I’m there! Still laughing. 🙂 !!!
Thanks, Kay! Funny the things we endure in the name of beauty…or…decency…LOL!
This is great! I’m with you…for me though, 6 p.m.. Thank you for the smiles this morning! 🙂
Honestly…since I’m still at work at 2…I have to wait as well…LOL! Thanks for commenting…glad you enjoyed it!