Get Off Those Damn Electronic Mind-sucking Devices…and Talk to Me

And this time I really mean it.  I have come to the conclusion that the more you have your body, mind and soul  in your iPhones, tablets, ipads, laptops or anything else that starts with a small “I” (so cute) , the more I feel I have little to no importance in your world.

And I am not having that anymore. When I show up, I do it for one reason and that is to spend time with your sorry butt. I think you are important enough to cut into my writing, painting and napping time. But then I find that I have to sit around and wait till you’ve decided that the time is right to disconnect with your electronic umbilical cord so we can spend three minutes together.  Doesn’t work anymore.

I can’t tell you how many conversations have died on the vine because I forgot where I was when you had to be overwhelmed with a call, a text, a picture of a bunny in a Halloween costume and you think nothing about doing this right in front of me. I would have more respect for you if you excused yourself and went to the ladies or men’s room. This way I would be worrying about you having food poisoning instead of realizing the sorry fact that you have become such a rude person. Yes, you are freaking rude and I am here to tell you to just stop it or I will tell your mother.

I don’t ask for a lot of your time. None of us have time to have a leisurely lunch or dinner anymore and I blame the world of electronics for the increase of plugged in acid re-flux that the majority of people in this country, in this world seem to have. Who would have thought that connecting with a WI-Fi would be more fun than hanging with me? I am truly saddened by this. I spent a whole lifetime trying to have a cutting edge life so that I can amuse you and all I get in return are friends who have forgotten that the word” you”  has an “o” and a “u” in it. C what I mean?

My best friend remarked a couple of months ago that she prefers to text than talk. She doesn’t like to talk much anymore. We did actually speak the other day for over an hour so maybe the intervention team I hired is breaking her down. I hope so. But you know what I really wanted to say to her – “What, are you 13?”

I was at an event recently and the women who were sitting with me where all texting. I felt so awkward and shunned that I went into my phone and read some emails that I had read when I was by myself. I finally got up and walked away but then I had to console a woman who dropped her phone down the toilet. Is there no place that is sacred anymore? The bathroom used to be a place to read and not retrieving a phone from a watery death.

Here’s the pledge I would like you to take:  I am not that important that I have to make human experiences less important than being connected to something that does not have a soul. Repeat it until you start to feel ashamed of yourself. Then take a long cleansing shower and know that all is forgiven.

Originally published March 4, 2013