My wish for you this Christmas is that you find Christ and get to know him. He is life and freedom. For many years I merely existed, fighting through feelings of self loathing, despair, violence  and love starvation. My only relief was to escape, whether through drugs, alcohol, men or food – just use something as a comfort so I didn’t have to live in the walls of my own mind. These actions took me to a place of despair and evil I don’t wish for anyone. The pain was so great that I tried to take my own life – but God had other plans. You see God can see the beginning from the end and his thoughts are not my thoughts, they are higher and hold more purpose; He has plans for me to prosper.
After years of low level thinking and low level living I came to the jumping off place. I had heard of God, was raised Catholic and attended church and parochial high school. After being in 12 Step recovery for around three months, one particular day my emotions began to surface and the unworthiness and self loathing was starting to suffocate me. This is when I cried out to God with tears streaming down my cheeks: if you are real, if you are there do something! Either change me or take me, but I cannot live like this anymore!!!
Suddenly I felt a sense of warmth, a feeling of completeness and belonging. What I realized was that I was not alone anymore, there was something, someone present in that car with me. That presence has kept me and sustained me and has my constant companion as I got off drugs and booze, dealt with dysfunctional relationships, overcome the pain and horrifying effects of multiple abortions, infertility, loss of job and grief. But moreover that something has given me the incomparability to love, to experience life on life’s terms and be happy, joyous and free.
Once I began to study the word of God I found out that in him there is total grace – acceptance, complete forgiveness, deliverance, edification and power. I began to discover my true identity. The identity I searched for all my life, in fact almost died to understand. Jesus died, was buried and rose again – in that I have found a family tree that is not only deeply rooted but can withstand any storm. It isn’t about keeping rules, or saving face, it is about experiencing a love that is so intoxicating there are no words in any language to describe it!
Thank you Mary, mother of Jesus, for remaining obedient in so many ways; for providing God a worthy womb to implant his seed.
Thank you Joseph for the lack of baby momma drama; and your determined faith in God. You  were man enough to deal with the reality that your fiancé  was pregnant and the baby wasn’t yours.
Thank you Jesus for saying yes to God and rebuking your own humanity; because  in the garden of Gethsemane you could have easily said no to death but, you didn’t. Forever will I remain devoted to a God that is alive and allows his people the choice of accepting him as Savior, he fills my cup to overflowing, he leads me through the land of milk and honey and he continues to love me even when I am unlovable – I am just so blessed that I am HIS!  I was running and you found me, I was blinded and you gave me sight . . . Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Is. 26:3-4 states: He will keep you in perfect peace whose mind is steadfast because his trust in you… Trust in the Lord forever, the Lord is the Rock eternal.
For all the years to come…….
Collette, as always thank you for your words of support and encouragement.. When we keep our eyes on Jesus nothing but good can happen!!
Lisa, this is brimming with gratitude, authenticity, and creative wording that brings us, the current day reader, into the reality of the incarnation. Wonderful. Thank you for encouraging me today.
Lisa, I’ve featured your post on the home page on http://www.HereWomenTalk.com (and changed the featured image). Thanks for all you do.
Your message is truly uplifting and inspiring. God bless you for gaining the strength to overcome obstacles in life and being the strong woman that you are. Be proud always of who you are and what you have achieved. Many blessings to you and your family during the holiday season the upcoming New Year.
Awesome word of encouragement and a liberating testimony for others. May God continue to bless you and further propel you to your destiny in Him. I know you will go forth and do great things for Him. Much love from the Randolph’s.
It is so refreshing to have such words coming from the heart that are so genuine, meaningful and timely. Sharing your experience is uplifting and is available to all of us who trust our Lord and Savior. Your the best; Merry Christmas honey! Tom
THANKS LISA. I am so blessed to be GODS daughter. To khow i have a father that will never leave me nor forsake me and provide all my needs, I live with such peace. Everyday is Christmas for me because I am the Kings Daughter, Thank you Lord. Lisa, you are a gift from GOD and I love you.
Merry Christmas
Lisa,
Thank you and Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year
Love you,
Lisa, thank you for such a heartfelt message of love and compassion. I thank God for His most beautiful gift of love He gave us through His Son. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
All credit goes to the Lord!! I was a mess and he gave me a message! Merry Christmas Deborah!
good article mom!
Thanks Lil!!!
Thank you, Lisa. Merry Christmas. xoxo ~Kay