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Alasha, referred to lovingly as The Dating Mechani... Read more


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Trust in Your Future is Facing Your Past
04/16/12

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Alasha,

I was in a relationship for almost four years, we had two children together. He did a lot of cheating as well as mental and physical abuse, now it is hard for me to trust anybody. I have been in my current relationship for over three years now and I sometimes find myself almost ruining the relationship. I always have thoughts of, “What if he cheats?” “What if he decides to leave?” “What if this… What if that…” I have expressed these thoughts to my current partner. It’s not that I don’t trust him because he has never done anything to lose my trust. I am scared of history repeating itself. What can I do to convince myself to stop thinking in this manner and know that everything is good?

Maggi

Trusting someone is to be confident in their character. Confidence can only build from actions that a person has already taken. If you find that one’s words and deeds match maybe it is not them you are having trust issues with but the result of you not trusting yourself. Having assurance that you are making the right decisions in and for your life is a direct reflection of how connected you are with yourself and what you truly want for your life.

When our past presents itself it is revealing what we are still holding onto and have not yet released. Our past choices haunt us when we have not confronted them, learned from them and made the necessary preparations to prevent the same outcome.

Remember that no one is perfect, that includes you too. The only person you can ever be truly certain of is you. Have confidence in yourself by taking a look at your own actions. Make sure you are in line with your core values and future goals. Take a look at your integrity within the relationship, is it intact? Take the steps to be reliable in the physical and emotional aspects of the union. Get the tools to gain the right knowledge needed to prevent you from making the past missteps in your current and future relationships.

The Dating Mechanic

I want to hear from you! To submit a dating question for the column, email me at info@alashabennett.com


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