Category: Surviving Abuse

The Fight of the Century

The Fight of the Century You’re probably wondering why a topic like this is appearing here. The “fight of the century” is a tagline that is usually connected to boxing, martial arts, or even politics. It would be fitting time-wise for an article about the Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao fight. This fight has nothing to do with any of that. This fight has to do with a fight for life by two very determined souls. One of those souls is Kay Van Hoesen, the founder of this network / site, and the other is Mandy, Kay’s dog. A...

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Current News – Alleged Allegations

Current News – Alleged Allegations I saw a brief segment (current news) on CNN last evening and I’m now wondering if the news about Bill Cosby is true.  I had heard a report a week ago about a woman who had made a statement about abuse occurring many years ago, but to have so many women step forward blows my mind.  My understanding is they are stepping forward in support of a woman who has a pending case regarding sexual assault allegations and they intend to offer testimony about their experiences with Mr. Cosby, if asked. Do you believe...

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Waiting for Life to Begin. Again.

Waiting for Life to Begin. Again. Once I was 14, and I thought the world was over right when it was supposed to begin. I had held out for three years, waiting for help that never came.  And then I gave up. I started sleeping with the light on. I stopped sleeping. I stopped eating. I started eating too much. I stopped trusting the people around me. I stopped trusting the ground below me. I cried all the time- locked alone in my room, in bathroom stalls and anywhere no one could see me. I didn’t cry in front...

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The Power of Forgiveness – It’s Better for You than Them

The Power of Forgiveness – It’s Better for You than Them It is much easier to hold a grudge, get angry, seek revenge, self-medicate or self-harm, than it is to forgive. Whatever hand abuse has tainted our life with, (we don’t get to choose how it is delivered) as adults, we get to choose how it affects our lives. There is no other way to be free from the memories, or healed of the scars and the lifetime effects of being the victim of abuse other than through forgiveness. Forgiveness does not excuse, minimize, or release the abuser from...

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Torn: Two Choices

Torn: Two Choices Have you ever felt this way?  Torn between two choices or perhaps two life paths. One year, 11 months ago I shared a life-changing secret here at “Here Women Talk” about my story of abuse.  I am prevented from talking about it publicly because I signed a “secrecy” document, so I can’t tell my real name or let the world know who I am. I felt a twinge of guilt and fear for a couple reasons after having shared some of my story.  Primarily because of my signature on that “secrecy” document and also because I...

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Dancing with the Devil Who Lived Down the Street

 Dancing with the Devil Who Lived Down the Street This predator always liked to lead. I always wanted to be invisible after that first time it happened.  I wanted to watch you, but I didn’t want you to see what I was up to. I remember sitting in my parents’ living room, with my eyes shut down while my breathing became rather shallow. I didn’t want you to hear me either. I was always in my Sunday best – patent leather shoes with shiny buckles, poppy necklaces and frilly silly girly dresses that were held up by skinny little...

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