Torn: Two Choices

Have you ever felt this way?  Torn between two choices or perhaps two life paths.

One year, 11 months ago I shared a life-changing secret here at “Here Women Talk” about my story of abuse.  I am prevented from talking about it publicly because I signed a “secrecy” document, so I can’t tell my real name or let the world know who I am.

I felt a twinge of guilt and fear for a couple reasons after having shared some of my story.  Primarily because of my signature on that “secrecy” document and also because I began thinking about revisiting the document in court.

This fear eventually led me to contact the lead attorney on the case so I would know what I would be facing legally if I went one step further and shared my story or expressed my anger publicly over what happened.  After a lengthy discussion, I chose to continue to let it go and to live, laugh and love in the best way I know how.

During the past year I’ve learned a lot about some things and there are some I still fail to understand. I learned why I felt unworthy at times and I learned real family members of survivors often do not know how to express what they feel any better than I do.  I have traveled in and out of anger, sadness and peace. All the while, I’ve continued to look at the bigger picture and have hoped for a brighter world without abuse of any kind.

There have been several times in this last year where I have come across posts at HWT’s community area that ignited many different feelings.  One such time was about eight months ago.  It was a post by Beth Jukuri. Women like her exemplify what surviving means. She is one of the bravest women I’ve come across since writing here in November, 2011.

I’m sure there are many other brave women out there and to all of you I would like to share Ms. Jukuri’s latest post on the Creative Intentions group (HERE) at Here Women Talk.

Thank you Beth, for sharing you and your Art!