I am an educated single woman in my thirties; I have no children and have never married. I have a lovely home, am financially stable and emotionally healthy.  I have done everything to make myself appealing to the opposite sex by developing in myself what I’m looking for. I am having a hard time finding someone who can match or exceed my same qualities. What am I doing wrong?

Stephanie, Florida


Attitude, planning and action are part of the three step process when you desire specific results. 90% of getting what you want is your attitude towards the results you want to see. You must proclaim your victory and believe it to be real and true before it will materialize. Using positive language is a good first step. Position your mind to think only about the results you wish to have and not the lack thereof. Create at least 3 positive statements about yourself and the results you want to have. A good example of one of these statements would be,“There is an abundance of men who possess the qualities I look for in a mate.”“The decisions I make for my life support my desired results.”

5% of successfully achieving your desired results is having a written plan of action; we’ll call this the second step. Creating a plan allows you to be clear about the results you want and keeps you focused on how you will achieve it. Your plan is a written reference to the actions you are committed to taking.

The last 5% and third step in this process is action. It is the physical movement you engage in that will accomplish your intended goal.  Broadening the pool of available men that fit your criteria by frequenting the places and activities they are associated with is a great example of taking action.

This last step can sometimes be the toughest so having an accountability partner such as a coach will be beneficial to your new commitment to being true to what you want for yourself while getting what you desire most.

The Dating Mechanic


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