There are these terrific mornings…I wake up early, my love makes me a cupa and I go off to work – just knowing that she will be there for me when I come home. I get to the office – it’s still quiet. The thing about the quiet…it doesn’t really last…soon the hustle and bustle begins – mostly in my head.
Strangely enough I am focused all day…I mean truly focused. I make my calls, write my reports and prepare the plans and more reports for the next day, week…I don’t hear the people around me unless they sing my name…and even then they aren’t really there…just movements outside the head….(ok, so I exaggerate…I love these people too….even if I don’t really see them)
And then I go home…If it is not yet dark, the drive is pleasant. I love the drive when the sun is shining and the music is blasting – sometimes I put in an old CD – yes, I am a Joan Baez and John Denver diehard. I love sitting in the car singing the old tunes….Country roads, taking me home to the place I belong…..the night they drove old Dixie down…while I sing low sweet chariot, coming to take Oscar Mayer home…just as Someone Saves my life tonight – right before the Bitch is Back from the boxer and the fighter and a nnnnaaaa by my name I carry a reminder ofevery,,,blllaala til I cry out –I am leaving I am leaving but the fighter still remains singing la da de dadadada….And then – Daylight Comes and We Are Home…aaayyoh…AAAAAAAAyoooooo! Daylight comes and we are home.
But as soon as I walk in the door – it all changes. My Love envelopes me in her warmth and caring – looks me I the eyes and loves me too. And then the silly – the Loopy begins…Here I am, loopy again….ah ah…the race to crazy has begun…I don’t even need a beer – and I am rhyming nonsense and speaking the language of the babbling wo-man. Soon the old songs, mostly commercials come in – sometimes with a twist…you know the Oscar Mayer one …the rocking the booty in the bosom of Abraham…or maybe shooting the sheriff, but not the deputy.- I love shooting the sheriff – and did you know that once upon a time they shot a canary?
And soon the giggles begin…the giggles can be extremely dangerous…they usually come with some very loud and fragrant booming – (I recently learned the word Dutch Oven – who would have thought? Do you think the Dutch know?) And who knew about Toe Jam? Not me , we didn’t have Toe Jam growing up – just the regular grape jelly…but Toe is special. Apparently when you get into bed at night the sheets are hungry and the toes so kindly share their jam with the sheets – And THE BLANKETS. And watch out – soon the whole bed bottom is covered. This means, no putting your head down there – no twisting the blankets with the toe jam side up to the face – toe jam is ok as long as its by the feet – but watch out – if it hits the face and you get toe jam on the face – or the Nose…well…that is just not ok;
And that brings me to the nose. Have you ever noticed that noses come in 2 forms; hard and smooshy. I have the smooshy kind. My nose can be squooshed almost completely flat to my face –Admittedly with some breathing difficulty. My love – her nose is hard. Her nose, doesn’t bend, mush or even move – even when she is laughing hysterically running to the ‘other room’, her nose just get a little crinkle…and that’s it…Who would have thought. I have a theory. I don’t think that smooshy noses can be with other smooshy noses. I think that one nose must be smooshy so that when you kiss theother nose can smoosh it…and the kiss can still be good.
Any way…At some point you must wonder, what exactly did you hear through the grape vine and how? You can no more hear something through a grape vine that I can squoosh my love’s nose to her face or get her to agree to put head on the Toe Jam side of the bed even if it is The Midnight Special, while someone saves my life tonight as I roll around the basement floor —-whoo whhooo whooo – Dutch Oven coming, warning warning….woops to late- an oh no we put the fan on – Dutch oven on the face-
What a life.