We have one more day to go as vegans.  How will it end?

Day Four


I applaud Charlene for taking on the high cost of gas in Day Three’s blog. Oh, wait. It wasn’t that kind of gas. The other gas. Well, just to clear the air (insert groan and face west) I have not been suffering from Charlene’s malady. Yet. And according to my family’s self published book We Don’t Talk About That In Front Of God Fearing People I will not speak about this sensitive subject again.

I started to take Zumba classes.  Four days with no meat, fowl, fish or dairy and being in a class with women who have no meat on their bodies has been really uplifting. Not. I am sure a sports bra would help.  I know what they are saying in between bites of their chicken, bacon, extra low fat mayo wrap, “Did you see the new girl?  I think she is making time with way too many carbs.”  I hate those bitches.

I think I am going to make a change in what I eat. I can’t believe 4 days could do it. Honestly, the book, Veganist, did it for me. Why not eat healthy foods that taste good (thank God for spice overloading) and save an animal from a torturous death?  And for all the mothers out there – if someone tried to take your baby away, wouldn’t you do everything in your power to get your child back? Mama cows do that. Sadly, the rate of success is 0% for these gentle animals.

I thought I would just be reporting about how much I hate salads. But now I feel like I am on this journey to change my life.

Had my organic banana, waffles and pecans for breakfast. Lunch was a salad with spicy olives, carrots, nuts, and raisins. Filling, and I am feeling more energized. Dinner was pasta and salad.

Lost a pound. Kathy Freston, you were telling the truth. Not that I ever doubted you.

Am I going vegan?

Day Four


I’ve lost 2 pounds. (Don’t tell Elizabeth.) It’s actually kind of amazing because I haven’t been dieting in the least and I’ve consumed more carbs than an extreme couponer at a buy-one-get-two-free day-old bread sale.

I went to the gym this morning to further work the muscles that keep my butt checks clenched together. The weight loss while eating tortilla chips and increased muscle toning might just keep me at this whole vegan thing for a bit longer than expected.

For breakfast I had 2 Morning Star Farms veggie sausages smashed between a wheat bagel (not the delicious egg kind). I’d mention that it would have tasted a bit better with some cream cheese or butter, but I don’t want to sound like a whiner.

For lunch I had some Amy’s lentil soup with a Bean-o appetizer and a side of Gas-X.

At dinner I cursed Elizabeth and wished I could push her right off that stupid edge of hers as I was at a taco bar and had the moistest, most delicious looking carnitas I’ve ever seen dangled in front of my face. Carnitas are my favorite Mexican food. Here piggy piggy. Here piggy piggy. Get in my belly as Mike Meyers would say.

I was so tempted, but then I thought of Wilbur, my favorite runt, so I stayed strong and had rice and beans (no lard – I checked!) with corn tortillas, salsa, and the biggest plop of guacamole you’ve ever seen. I’d tell you it was delicious, but I cannot let those kooky brown-eyed-cow-hugging people win!