Well Dahlings, I’ve taken a much needed break from my busy schedule as we all need do from time to time. Today I return to you and in my in box is this lovely email… as you can see it is something that will go over VERY well with me!
You’re worth it.
(And I’m just trying to be nice.
I am a health and wellness promoter helping people achieve their personal goals. Whether through life, weight loss, health or prosperity, I love helping people meet their goals and find success. We all know that our health should be one of our top priorities but we are all also guilty of letting it fall lower and lower on our to-do lists at times. That is, until one day we get that wake-up call that no one wants to get.
Let’s not wait until we get that call. Plus, there are many people we can help right now.
Did you know that obesity is growing at epidemic rates ?
(Let’s call the sender Ms. W. Of course it included a web site with lovely color photos and descriptive vids.)
Well my lovelies, did you know that misinformation is growing at epidemic rates?
READ MY LIPS – (and today they’re a phabulous shade of Nars Jungle Red)
YOU CAN BE HEALTHY, LARGE AND LOVELY AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!
Yes my dahlings, you can indeed. There is a lovely site I’ve found that gives the clinical back up for that statement. It’s http://haescommunity.org/pledge.php
Health at every size. How refreshing, and to think that someone out there has a book that shows step-by-step scientifically what we’ve known all along.
I haven’t read it yet but can’t wait to get my hands on it. I have read in-depth on line about it and hope you will too. Here’s a quote.
Let’s face facts. We’ve lost the war on obesity. Fighting fat hasn’t made the fat go away. And being thinner, even if we knew how to successfully accomplish it, will not necessarily make us healthier or happier. The war on obesity has taken its toll. Extensive “collateral damage” has resulted: Food and body preoccupation, self-hatred, eating disorders, discrimination, poor health… Few of us are at peace with our bodies, whether because we’re fat or because we fear becoming fat.
Health at Every Size is the new peace movement.
Very simply, it acknowledges that good health can best be realized independent from considerations of size. It supports people—of all sizes—in addressing health directly by adopting healthy behaviors.
– An excerpt from Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight by Linda Bacon, PhD.
Now back to this misinformed missive in my inbox. The main product being peddled through this email was, I quote from the site “the shake mix that tastes like a cake mix,”
(Lovelies, even I can’t make that stuff up!)
Look lovelies, the next time someone tries to sell you a shake that has the equivalent vitamins of 14,000 stalks of broccoli (or whatever), think about it. If humans needed nutrition equal to 14,000 stalks of broccoli (or whatever) daily, wouldn’t God (or the science of nature or wherever you think we come from– I don’t much care what your origin beliefs are) have put the nutrients in a better package we could actually swallow? Oh, that’s right, the Creator, who made heaven and earth, elephants and cheetahs, man and woman, was simply waiting for this company to make a shake to give them the proper nutrition rather than growing it out of the ground. It’s a much better solution and all part of the evolutionary process to go from nature to the “shake mix that tastes like a cake mix”.
Hallelujah, we have arrived!!!!! Creation is complete. We cannot go forth and survive! Oh, wait! Haven’t creatures on earth been doing that for millennia? Wait! I’ve got it! THAT”S WHAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS!!! THEY DIDN’T HAVE the “shake mix that tastes like a cake mix”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Silly ‘saurs they didn’t’ even have a decent blender for margaritas. The essentials in life. No wonder they’re extinct. Ah, c’est la vie, more for us!
Look ladies, you need to be healthy. ABSOFRICKINLUTELY!!!! That’s part of loving yourself, caring for your body, honoring the life that is yours and enables you to do whatever your life demands of you.
But when someone tries to sell you a shake, or a magic pill that grows beanstalks, to solve all your problems, tell them you’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn you’d like to sell them. At least IT works.
Oh Dahlings… here is the response I gave to the misfortunate soul who wanted me to drink vanilla-flavored cake mix tasting shakes… I mean, come on. It wasn’t even chocolate.
Dear Ms. W.,
There are many studies that are out now, one in particular that shows you can be healthy or unhealthy at any weight. If you have high cholesterol or any other issue, whatever size you are, it must be addressed immediately. But there are large people who are perfectly healthy, and you’re talkig to one.
Please do not insult someone like me who is perfectly healthy and fabulous just the way I am by sending me an email trying to sell me a diet shake and call it healthy. I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you if you like.
My dear Ms. W., my doctor wishes he had my blood work, blood pressure, insulin levels.
Please go pedal you snake oil elsewhere as you aren’t going to get any bites here. How can you possibly think that a shake (even one that tastes like cake mix) could be more healthy than locally-grown organic veggies, fruit, meat, eggs, dairy, etc. And, wait for it, if I want to have a piece of cake, I’ll HAVE CAKE! I mean, come on, you think a diet shake is going to serve when I’m jonsin’ for a hunk o’ chocolate layer? PLEEEEASE.
You’ve got balls, I’ll say that, for sending this email to me and the others included. You’ve got our number, we’re just poor depressed fat chicks waiting for someone to sell us their latest magic pill to make their lives all better. All this love-yourself-as-you-are, care for and honor your body, enjoy life and all the gifts therein, is just a lot of hooey. I say thank you, thank you for sending me the life-saving link to your website. I’m sure a vanilla cake shake will solve all the problems you assume I have due to my size, and I’ll be ever so grateful to put that new wing on the house for you.
You’ll get my check in the mail.