Menopause is one of the most trying seasons of life. I’ve been through the hot flashes which I thought was a taste of the fires of hell on earth, but the weight gain is even worse. I’ve gone from a size four to a size eight, can you imagine? Nothing fits me not even underwear. My breasts seem to be going through a growth spurt because they are the biggest I’ve ever seen them in my life. I’ve moved from a 36b cup to a 38c cup. When will it ever end?

I tricked myself into going shopping today because it’s either get new clothes or go naked and since the hell flashes have gone, I might as well opt for clothes. I saw the most beautiful overpriced silk cotton dress, perfect cut, beautiful color, only one of it’s kind in the store, just my size; size eight. I make my way to the dressing room strip down while carefully avoiding the mirror, you know how the store mirrors add twenty pounds to your life, and horror of horrors, size eight is too tight on the bust. Needless to say that was the end of my shopping and I am now a size ten. What exactly is happening to my body?

It’s like some alien has invaded my body. What more can I do? I watch what I eat, when I eat and how much I eat, I feel like a food inspector, yet my weight increases. It seems as though all I have to do is go near enough to the food or look at it long enough and I increase a dress size.

Did I mention the emotional upheavals? Well last week I became depressed for no good reason. I began to wreck my brains trying to figure out just why I went from joy to sorrow in the twinkling of an eye. I was going along my merry way, grateful for all of God’s rich blessings in my life when all of a sudden, it was as if all of the weight of the world was dumped on my shoulder and lifting my legs to make the next step required great effort. In that much burdened state, the thought of my father who has been dead for two whole years crossed my mind and the flood gates busted. I was crying as if the news just hit me that my dad was gone forever.

I’ve also noticed that I often crave things like ice cream and chocolate cake. Ordinarily I have no real interest in these things but now I actually go looking for them. What is happening to me? Who is this person that has taken over my body and is trying to steal my very comfortable size four life?

Trying to get rationale help from sisters who have gone this way before is crazy and my doctor says that things will change. Of course he is male and has only text book knowledge of my very real experience. I’ve tried some of his suggestions and not a few of the home spun remedies from the sisters, but alas not much relief.

There was one product that I tried a soy protein beverage, which did seem to give some relief but the cost of it was killing me. It’s not available in my country so I have to purchase it online, have it shipped to my skybox in Miami then further shipped to me in the Caribbean. The very high cost of overseas shipping not to mention the exorbitant duties and taxes when it lands in my country, makes it prohibitive for me to continue using anymore.

There is just one thing that I have neglected to try in a very serious manner and that is prayer, it only just dawned on me that I’ve neglected to talk to God about this. Thank you Father for coming to the rescue again, I’m talking to you very publically now since you popped up in the middle of my diatribe to remind me that we haven’t talked. Please help me through this season, don’t let it conquer me and please return me to my very comfortable size four, please.

Open to suggestions, living large all of a sudden, and staying BIG (Believing In God)!

Now you understand why you haven’t heard from me for a while huh?