At the age of nine, I was nominated the next Rosie O’Donnell for my fourth-grade class superlatives. In the sixth grade, I made a gossip magazine on Microsoft Word about my classmates. When I got into middle school, I tested out the school paper and continued it every semester until I graduated high school. I can remember sitting at the lunch table with my best friend and planning the magazine we’d someday own.
I Don’t Want Fame; I Just Want to Write
It is all I have wanted since before I can remember: move out to Los Angeles, interview celebrities on the red carpet, write for Rolling Stone magazine, have my own talk show. This has always been the dream I’ve carried around with me. That’s it. There is no plan B.
And now I’m 20-years-old, a little over a year away from graduation, and scared shitless.
All of my friends are after jobs that are just within their grasp. They want to be an accountant, a nurse, or a manager of a retail store. I want a job in a career field that pays next to nothing. I want to leave everything I know and move hundreds of miles away to a three hundred square foot apartment. I want to achieve something that could be impossible and send me back to South Carolina, broke, with my tail between my legs in shame.
I tell people my dream and I can practically see them wanting to reach out to pat my head, humoring me like I’m a three-year-old telling them I want to be an astronaut or a cowgirl. They don’t think that I—someone who has always depended on her parents and has never been away from home—will be able to do this. You know what, maybe they are right. I could end up at a desk job, working from 9 to 5 with a husband and couple of kids.  It wouldn’t be the worst life, but it’s this thought that keeps me up at night, terrified that there won’t be anything more for me.
Like I said, there is no plan B. In a year and a half, I’m taking whatever money is in my pocket and moving into that small studio apartment without knowing a single soul within hundreds of miles. Hopefully in a few years you’ll see me with a microphone on the red carpet or my byline in Rolling Stone. If not, at least I tried. That’s more than most could say.
Kristina, it amazes me the knowledge and the passion you have for a twenty year old, you have more wisdom and compassion and thoughtfulness for life than people in their fifties and then some. Writing truly is a gift that you have, it’s a voice that needs to be heard for those that suffer, it’s a lesson that needs to be taught to the people who are ignorant in this world, it’s a passion that one is born with. Don’t ever compromise, don’t ever give up that dream, don’t ever let ANYONE tell you, you “can’t” or “shouldn’t”. You “must” and you “will”. I am moved by each article you write, and I’m sure you have moved and touched the souls of many, many more. Continue to write, fulfill your dream and feed the minds of many. I look forward to each word, and hope you will always keep in touch.
I’ve read most of the things you’ve written in the past couple of years, and you’re a very talented and smart writer. And if writing is your passion, then go for it. There is nothing more rewarding than going out there and living your dream, knowing that you’re making a difference in the world in your own way. I know you can do it, you’re awesome! (And hey, don’t forget us when you finally get to interview Adam Lambert, ok? :p)
I can’t forget you. Who would I flail with after interviewing him? I love you, writing buddy!
You’ll know me and I’d only be 500 miles away! 🙂
Just the fact that you are willing to go and try makes you a success already. Don’t let what people say deter you. You’re young, brave, and have talent and that will get you VERY far.
I’ll visit you every weekend 😀
Kristina, I’m sure those that have read your work, many of them in the HWT family, would agree that it’s only a matter of time before that one person will read something you write, and your life will never be the same again. All you have to do is keep honing your craft, keep the dream, and be ready because you just never know when even a simple conversation can lead to something big. Just remember us little people when Rolling Stone comes a callin’!
Aww thank you! That means a lot.