“A mother’s womb is technicolor; it gives birth to any kind and character of children.” Ethiopian proverb
On this day, 38 years ago, a beautiful queen gave birth to baby girl she named Valerie Anne. Knowing her time in the physical world would soon be coming to an end, she nurtured, molded, and instilled the morals and values that would carry her through a life she knew she would not be a part of.
Today, my birthday, 38 years later, while I was out buying myself a celebratory birthday cupcake, I’m wondering if I have made the memory of my mother proud. Have I lived the life she had planned for me. Furthermore, have I have made myself proud. Have I spent 38 years living on this earth, or wasted 38 years simply occupying this earth.
To say I know the answer to that question wouldn’t be true. Honestly, there were times in my life where I believe I have lived, but I also many times spent being nothing more than an occupant. Just ‘going through the motions’. Existing.
For the first time, I don’t have a plan for the rest of my life. I don’t have a goal for my future. My oldest daughter is almost 19, in college, and trying to figure out her place in life, my 2 youngest will be reach adulthood, God willing, in a few years. So, what is next for me?
Much of my life has been spent trying my hardest to prepare my children for life. Doing everything I can to offer in my children the knowledge that will allow them to spread their wings and providing the tools that will enable them to fly. But, when my work is done, what is next for my life?
It seems finding the answer to that question is path my journey has led me to. The choices I make and the answers I receive will determine my adventures for the rest of my life.
“Life is a message – listen to it. Life is a belief – trust it. Life is a gift – accept it. Life is love – think about it. Life is an adventure – dare it.” Northern Sotho proverb from South Africa
I’m only 26 and I’m at a point in my life where I don’t know what I want,where I’m going, or how I’m getting there. I believe these feelings can happen at any age. Good luck to you on your journey my friend.
Happy Birthday Valerie! I, too, find myself at the same fork in the road. My youngest will be in college come August, and my 2 oldest are wonderful contributors to society. I am proud knowing I have completed my parenting task successfully, but what next? I have, hopefully, many more wonderful years ahead of me. I hope to find the answer one day soon, or be guided to the answer. Good luck on your journey!