I have a 911 dating situation. I was at a bar last night with some friends and saw this nice looking lady. My friends tried to persuade me to talk to her by offering to buy her a drink. I hate to admit it but I completely froze, I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I don’t have a lot of experience with picking up women. I usually meet ladies through a friend or a friend of a friend. I don’t know how to be myself. How do I approach a woman?


Where is the fire Jason? There’s no need for alarm nor is there a reason to over complicate things and become overwhelmed with anxiety thinking about what to say. Know that the emphasis is on how you say something not necessarily what you say and that comes with practice.

Being comfortable with talking to the opposite sex can be challenging. One way to relieve some of that nervousness is by talking to woman you come in contact with; the cashier at the mall, the waitress at the restaurant or the clerk at the DMV. Wherever there are woman you start talking.

Make general statements or questions in the direction of the woman about your surroundings. Say it loud enough for the person to hear and let the conversation naturally roll. For instance, you are in the frozen pizza section of the grocery store and you see a woman approaching the freezer as well, “Making it a pizza night?” or “You know I’ve never had (brand X) how do you like the taste of that one?” The conversation is genuine but general enough that it’s non-threatening and easy for both people.

It may seem strange at first but most people will engage in small talk and that opens the door slightly for further conversation. Remember you are not trying to pick up a woman you are learning to approach a woman with confidence through small talk. The more you do it the better you will become at it. The most pleasant conversations in your day can be from a stranger.

The Dating Mechanic

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