Money and the Sexes
Money! What a complex relationship many of us have with it. Not only is it the source of our survival in the modern world, but we often see it as a measure of self-worth. This is evidenced in our culture by the continual need for the bigger home, better car or designer jeans. There is however, a fundamental difference in the way that men and women view and handle money.
Men take ownership of money…
The difference lies in how men take ownership. They are the descendants of men who, through the generations, have demonstrated ownership of money. They may have fears of failure or of appearing less masculine around their ability to make and hold money. They may display spending habits that lead to financial hardship, and they may make poor financial choices just like women. However their masculine nature is different in the way they express their relationship with money. While men generally experience either higher expectations or perceived expectations to become financially successful, it is easier for them to take ownership of their right to earn money, spend money, and play the competitive money game than it is for a woman!
Women seek security…
While men take ownership of money, women look for security. This is why men often do better in divorce when it comes to division of assets. They are easier able to identify what they want and ask for it. Women on the other hand often do better in the stock market. They are less likely to take risks and are more apt to stay with their investments, waiting out the ups and downs, while a man plays the buy/sell game with exhilaration, sometimes winning and sometimes losing.
As women, we are learning how to be centered in our femininity yet independently abundant with the flow of money. We are learning that we have the right to make as much money as men, and to want and dream of success in both our personal and business life.
I am the first financially independent woman in my family’s history, a reality not uncommon among women today. My mother periodically worked part-time and was never expected to be paid as much as my father. Her money was considered her “little spending fund” while my dad took on the responsibility of earning and paying for our household expenses. Along the same theme, neither of my grandmothers ever worked outside the home. They were acceptably dependent on their men for survival.
It’s important to note that we have come a long way as women. Consider there was a time when a woman wasn’t allowed to own anything. Even if she worked, her money was given to her husband to dish out as he saw fit. Since our female ancestral line was taught through the generations the art of seeking security, it is not surprising that today many women still have difficulty understanding how to take ownership of money.
There is a correlation between money and feeling powerless as a woman. This is especially demonstrated by the woman who stays in an unhappy relationship because of the perceived financial security. Even a well-educated business woman may make romantic choices based on security and social status, rather than facing her fear of stepping out and fully manifesting on her own. Yet, one of the many benefits of our modern world is that it offers so many opportunities for women. We no longer have to cling to security for our survival.
The way for women to take ownership of money lies in our ability to make money, save money and keep the money we make. The woman who is true to her nature, who steps up and takes discerning ownership of her life journey and her creativity, and who is fluid in the flow of life and money, can live a joyous, sweet, independent and abundant life. She is a woman who acknowledges her own feminine beauty and creative savvy; a woman who takes ownership of her ability to create her own financial security and trust the continuous flow of abundance in her life.