8 Ways to Let Go
Sometimes when things come to an end, we feel more than slightly lost. When a relationship, friendship or job ends it could seem to crash our world. Our blood, sweat, tears, hopes and often life-long dreams seemed to be shattered. Other times the endings are not so serious and yet they tug at our heart strings. Life could seem to be out-of-control or at a sudden standstill. The truth is though, that life has changed, it will never be the same again. While we do need to honor that transition we should keep in mind that the wise ancients always said that only thing we can count on is CHANGE. If we have experience and who doesn’t once you’re past the age of eight…you know somewhere deep within that this too shall pass. For most of us, eventually it does. But what of those aches that last?
Eckhart Tolle, number #1 on the Watkins 100 Spiritual Power List, believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Caroline Myss, medical intuitive and NYT bestselling author, has said that we have learned the language of woundology and it has become a way to identify ourselves and connect with others. How do we let go with grace and ease while being honest with ourselves? We may be spiritual beings having an earthly experience but if the dog bites, it sure hurts…yet we are not our “story.”
So what are some things you can do while dealing with a transformation in your life? Sometimes these endings are expected like graduating from school, sometimes they come unawares…death, lay-off, natural disaster destroying your home. How can we cope in as spiritual a way as possible?
Here are 8 user-friendly ways to get through endings:
1.Let yourself have a breakdown: Iyanla Vanzant said at Hay House, “ Just cuz you’re spiritual doesn’t mean you can’t have a breakdown. But it can’t go on forever. Set a time, cry, yell, let it out, feel what’s inside of you.” According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramset Medical Center in Minneapolis crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.
2.Talk to a friend: You don’t need ten friends, you need one or two good ones that will truly listen as you express your deepest feelings. Sometimes we REALLY just need to be HEARD and received with love and compassion.
3.Engage in a physical activity: Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind. During a serious break-up…I turned UP the DANCE quotient in my life. I started belly dancing like 6 times a week! My mami was stressing out that it would become my next career and I said “Mami!, be HAPPY I’m moving when all I wanna do is lay there!”
4.Follow a spiritual practice: Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment instead of re-living the past or worrying about the future. Hopefully you have a practice that supports you, if you don’t…it’s a PERFECT time to start one! Make it simple, make it something you like and can manage.
5.Be grateful: Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure. Be thankful for the shared time, the experience and the growth that you have acquired. Don’t worry about how the “other” proceeds with you, watch how you proceed. End with as much compassion, love and gratitude that your boundless soul can offer.
6.Laugh it out: Research shows that laughter releases tension, improves your immune system, and even eases pain. People report that they have healed illness with laughter so go ahead…put some comedic salve on that hurting heart : D
7.Focus on productive actions: Clean your room, your desk, your closet, start a hobby instead of dwelling on things you can’t control. When we are sad or nostalgic we tend to s-l-o-w down so get a move and get rid of stuff. Get a friend to join you on a project, it will get your blood flowing and your heart healing.
8. Forgive: Forgive you, forgive them, forgive, forgive…Even if there was an injustice done to you. FORGIVENESS helps RELEASE. This helps you get closure and keeps it MOVIN. Sometimes we hold on because we don’t want to forget…we are in fear that this will happen again. Forgiveness let’s us get unstuck so we are not living in the past and opens our heart to the PRESENT moment.
Of course, it will take some time but the more you focus on the positive and feel gratitude the more you allow your feelings and life to be transformed. As this situation, person or phase of life leaves you begin to enter a new phase. Think of all the amazing adventures you will experience and know that what makes this existence so enthralling ( enough to make us jump back in & reincarnate) is that its a journey. It’s up to you how much joy, love & abundance you allow.
Hoping that you let go easily & effortlessly as you welcome with joy; new awareness, opportunities and experiences that allow you to express your most ALIVE and happy self!
Smiles & Spirit,
Originally published November 2, 2012