There is no profile for a family sexual abuser because they can be anyone. They can be charming, loving, good parents, good neighbours, good husbands or brothers or dads. They can be Christians, Buddhists, Muslims or Atheists. They can be talented, gifted, educated, poor, rich, old, young, good providers, and great members of community. They can also be our leaders in church, work, sports and government, but for this one thing that crosses all barriers of decency, trust and honour; and they cross it.
There is an imbalance of power within the home or organisation and the child has no knowledge of what is going on, and that lack of knowledge is their gateway to hell.
Disraeli once said to Queen Victoria, “The one with the most knowledge has the greatest advantage.”
Parents have the greatest advantage over child sex predators, if only they would share that knowledge in a way a child understands. A child is easily accessed by cunning, manipulative adults and older children and they need your eyes and ears to recognise when a line is being crossed.
This doesn’t mean you suspect everyone, or look for ‘signs’ in people’s behaviours. What it simply means is that your child has their own line of defence should anyone cross the line, and they know that they have access to you because they know you have knowledge about how it works and you will listen to them should they need to disclose it.