Take a Deep Breath!
Being single is NOT a disease nor is it this unshakeable cloud hovering over your doorstep. You don’t have a bull’s-eye on your back or a red X on your front.
It is NOT assumed by couples you are single as a result of some inability and certainly your current single status is NOT what defines your future relationship status.
What it does signify is your persistence to relate to another person who is suited for you and to not pass the time by hooking up with someone you know is not a match for you. It also allows time for you to adjust any behaviors you wish not to continue.
Let’s take a look at today’s addiction, can you relate to those who….
The Overdoer is the most dangerous type of love addict. They are unaware of how deep they have fallen from their intended goal of finding love. There was a time Overdoers had clear direction of the partner they desired to be with but now they are unsure if they still desire the same things.
Overdoers imagine their ideal person to meet every emotional need they have and are surprised when others do not abide by the rules of an unwritten and impossible to fulfill contract.
Those who Overdose on love involve themselves in risky behaviors such as having multiple partners at one time and find they are unable to choose between them. They try their best to hide their craving for numerous partners by explaining “We’re just friends”, while each partner feels otherwise.
The Overdoers attraction to all of their partners comes from the different way they experience love from each partner. All partners play their specific role at an appointed time, they cover the range of emotions the Overdoer feels.
For example, one partner can be a homebody while another partner may be the life of the party. One partner can lavish them with gifts and the other can comfort them when they need to be expressive.
The consequences of their actions are very severe and all though they are aware of the seriousness of the situation Overdoers have a challenging time discontinuing their actions. When trying to abandon this way of thinking and acting Overdoers go through withdrawals and alienate others who try to offer counsel.
Those who Overdose think of love as an accessory and feel incomplete when they are not bonding through affection.
Did you identify with any characteristics of the Overdoer?
Here are some tools to take control of this destructive pattern and create some positive dating habit
1. Take some time to rediscover what you desire from a monogamous relationship
2. Seek to expose your current outlook on relationships by exploring previous relationships that came to an end.
3. Reveal what you have uncovered from the above actions with someone you can trust, who will allow you to be open, and who can facilitate a plan to get you back to where you really want to be.
Join me tomorrow to uncover the patterns of the Dependent love addict.