Are men just walking ATM’s?

Dear Alasha,

I’ve heard some women jokingly say, “What’s his is mine and what’s mine is mine” Why do women see men as walking ATM’s? I am a single man who works hard for his money and I can’t stand when women ask us not to treat them like sex objects but they treat us like their own personal bank. ~Jamal, California

Empty Pockets

Jamal, a comment such as this is definitely a cause for alarm but let me start out by saying all women do not take on this view. It would be easy to close the book on this first chapter and categorize these women as gold diggers but let’s indulge in a little understanding.

There is a sense of entitlement some, and this includes women as well as men, think they have because of their gender. We have been conditioned from various sources and from a very young age what a man’s job is and what role a women is allowed to play. We carry this embedded code throughout our lives not really taking the time to confront and analyze why we believe as we do. It is obvious that as babies and through our younger years our parents catered to our every whim.  For this reason it is fairly easy to take on the position that one is owed something.

There are other reasons why someone would take on this attitude for instance; they may have been in situations where there has been a lot of hurt feelings and mistreatment. In this case one may carry an invisible shell on their back that allows them to retreat and protect themselves against any potential for a repeat performance from others. This would be a positive candidate for what we call baggage.

In any case it is not right to view anyone as an escape from or a relief of your debts. These women who think in this manner often forget when they marry the state combines the debts of both individuals. So yes, what’s his IS yours but what’s yours is his as well. That can be a beneficial thing or it can turn into a total nightmare. We can all take a memo to remember relationships should be for the gain of all involved and not be consistently one sided. Concerning debt both can benefit and suffer.

The Dating Mechanic

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