Have you ever wondered why The Little Engine That Could repeatedly reminded himself during his journey that he could make it? I mean, he had come so far, surely he knew he would reach his destination and accomplish his goal. He had all the ingredients, determination, passion, and boldness. So why the pep talk?

Was it fear? Did it start to creep upon him as he rode to the finish line? What was he afraid of?

Was it the fear of…

  • Failure? That he set out to accomplish such a big goal, and he wondered if he would make it.
  • Success? If he completed the goal, what would come next.
  • Rejection? That there would be those who would not accept his victory.

Sadly, those same fears are all too real for many singles. They allow negative beliefs to cripple them from accomplishing their goal of finding a mate and undermine what they desire most — to be in a loving, healthy relationship.

Too often we allow our imagination free reign to dictate our reality. We become paralyzed, immobile, debilitated in moving forward.

So why did that little engine have to keep bringing to the front of his mind what he wanted to come into reality? That little engine knew the secret to overcoming fears. He had the one piece we often are missing.  He believed he could do it, and he followed through.

In order to achieve a goal, we must modify our thinking to match the actions we will take. In order to experience what we long for in the physical, we must first visualize it in our minds.

Are you ready to be completely honest with yourself and admit you have fears about dating and relationships? Are you willing to delete those fears this upcoming year so love can find a home in you? The theme for my coaching clients this year is “NEW YEAR, NEW YOU, NEW LOVE.” Are you ready to meet the love of your life … because they’re ready to meet you!


I want to hear from you! To submit a dating question for the column, e-mail me at [email protected] Due to the abundance of submissions, there may be a delay in response time. Please know all submissions will be read and receive an answer.

Visit www.alashabennett.com to take the Readiness Quiz and schedule a one-on-one strategy session with me to start you on the path of finding love in the New Year!

Alasha Bennett, The Dating Mechanic