I have been going to a Buddhist Sangha every Sunday morning to meditate since last spring. Most days, my life speeds by in a blur. Sound familiar? I knew I needed an outlet where I could put my brain out to dry for a couple of hours. And this worked. I could still feel the benefits of meditating a few days later. Hot damn!
But then I started to notice something odd. Our mediation teacher was picking on me. Every Sunday, I would show up thinking I must be hallucinating, but there it would be. I didn’t move a chair to the right spot in the circle and I would get, “that is not what I meant.” And my teacher would come over in a tizzy and move it. And I annoyed her to no end with my placement of the cushions.
What would Buddha do?
I am thinking Buddha is not a control freak but my teacher is. And that is sad because I came home and declared that I was not going back. Six months of following my breath and really finding some peace of mind, heart and soul and I was done with it because of one person.
Her issues were trumping my ability to go to a quiet place to mediate. Then I thought that is not going to fly in my life.
So I went this past Sunday and she was not there. It was glorious. I told the two facilitators who filled in that it had been one of the nicest Sundays I ever experienced there. I remarked that there were no sharp edges, no judgment and no yelling about cushion placement. Okay I kept the latter to myself. It was only our breaths sharing some time together. What a nice gift I received just by pushing pass someone else’s agenda. Those chairs and cushions were not the issue. I was not the issue. The teacher had the issues.
So she will probably be back next Sunday and I don’t care. I will go there for me so I can take care of me.
And maybe I will be little kinder to my Buddhist bully. That is what Buddha would do. I hope I can be that enlightened.
I’ll have to get back to you on that.
So what is keeping you from what you want and need to do? Can you tell your imaginary bully that they have worn out their welcome?
What would Buddha do?
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