About The Author
Stacie DeSantis~Dorego
I write short stories and quotes about life..Our Victories,Our mistakes and everything in between...For the first time I am trying to write about MyLife...That is going to take a while...A mom of 3 children,Mackenzie 14yrs. old,Jake 5yrs old and Lily 3yrs old..Sense Of Humor is so important to me,I Love to Laugh,at the end of the day no matter what that day brought my way laughter was my Valuum..Until recently when my life turned upside down, life's struggles came at me all at once...It's been 9 yrs since my nightmare began and still can not find Stacie...My Personality,My Independence,My Strength and my tool to get threw life..my sense of humor..Gone..Now I am trying to find it,so far the journey has been unsuccessful...I have faith that I will turn up somehow..
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a 2 hour show sounds good. there is soooooo much more. i spent 2 weeks in a psych hospital and 2 years in therapy twice a week. when we parted ways, i knew i had said what to say to get everyone off my back…and be free to do what i wanted cuz everyone trusted me ….YOU REMIND ME OF SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO SERVE WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT OF YOUR BUSY-NESS. BLESSINGS <3
http://community.herewomentalk.com/video/foiiow-up-on-teenage-suicide,take a couple minutes and let me know your opinion..
Just posted a great video,think i found the key to getting awareness out there on teenage suicide…tell me what you think…posted on front page…http:// herewomentalk.com
I don’t know that I agree that the cause of the majority of suicide is teen bullying or meanness. The cause of teen suicide in my opinion and experience is that many mental health issues first onset or first manifestation appears in adolescence as the brain matures into adulthood. Often it’s a biological chemical imbalance that is hereditary and treatable. Clinical Depression and Bipolar disorder impact quite a lot of people and usually presents in adolescence. Both can be treated with counseling and medication. The mistake is that parents and educators write off symptoms as “normal teenage angst.” Normal teenagers are happy and carefree people. If a kid has no underlying mental health issue and good coping skills then when some other kids calls them a name or says something asinine they are able to blow it off and move on . . .it doesn’t get to the point of suicide. But, if the kid is already on the rough and raged edge – socially isolated, listening to dark thoughts or outside media, drowning their feelings in overeating, not eating, drugs, alcohol, smoking or sex – then a kid is at risk for suicide whether someone bullies them or not, it’s only exemplified by the bullying.
Thank You, Knowledge about this is a like a guide for parents to go by..My Question to you,What if there was no diagnoses of any depression or bipolar at a young age or now..Seeking help with no answers..From doctors,phychiatrist and multiple testing..
If your kid is withdrawn, depressed, listing to or talking about dark topics like death and suicide, sleeping excessively or has insomnia, experimenting with addictive substances including food, socially isolated, has excessive anxiety or has a few of these symptoms then it’s a parents or school counselor’s responsibility to take the kid to an appropriate doctor and get the kid help with medication and talk therapy. These aren’t normal behaviors. They are symptoms of clinical depression and bipolar disorder.
Another day with a lot of feedback…Wanting to put our heads together and get this message out..The statistics show how wide spread this awful tragedy is, but when all these wonderful people come forward with their story about losing a family member, a child, a friend or their struggles, it really opens your eyes. Let’s pull together and find a way!!!
That’s a shocking statistic. Suicide is all too familiar to me. Numerous family members have taken their own lives, and I’ve been close. It’s hard to imagine the depth of pain these kids are feeling to choose death. I’m encouraged by the “It Gets Better” campaign and other initiatives to spread healing words. We all need to pay attention to the teens we know, offer to listen without preaching, let them know their value and somebody cares. Thanks, Stacie, for your post. Congratulations. It’s been featured on the home page of http://www.HereWomenTalk.com.
Teen suicide is a topic that has hit far too close to home for me this week. A dear friends’ niece, for no apparent reason, took her father’s fully loaded and easily accessible handgun and shot herself. I get that people cope with death in different ways, but my friend is deeply frustrated and disturbed by the family’s reaction. Lots of “She’s in a better place” and “We’ll be together soon” and “You’ll always be beautiful and young” comments – yet no conversation about what caused her to select such a permanent solution to temporary problems. No one knows why she did it. There is no discussion about why there was a fully loaded handgun accessible to her. Her case involves several complicated issues. We just did a show on gun control yesterday and I’m personally frustrated with people who make it very easy for these kids to kill themselves with no personal accountability. The week before our show was on “Bullycide”. It’s an epidemic in this country but we have to lead by example. How can we expect our children to be kind to one another when there is so much incendiary talk coming from people who should be their role models? It’s time we started be leaders of our children – talking to them, not at them. Leading by example by being kinder to one another. Thank you for posting this. Opening a dialogue is how we begin to change things.
Carol refers to the gun-control and bullycide programs on her live talk show “Broadsided”, every Thursday at 11am EST. If you want to hear those archives, you can find them at this link http://archives.zeusradio.com/category/here-women-talk/broadsided/ or listen in iTunes at http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/here-women-talk-broadsided/id473826743?ign-mpt=uo%3D4
I Would love too..I have been answering tons of emails and direct messages since this morning about this subject..Most want to know a strategy and what they can do to help..I am going to message you some info about some great ppl who follow me..
hello Carol,I am sorry about your friends niece,that is a terrible story..I cant imagine having a loaded gun in my home..never mind where a child or a teenager could have access to it..I was wondering what happens to the father for having a loaded gun in his home that his daughter took her life with? Is there a law for this…I feel unless someone has gone through the same pain they should not comment on how your friend should feel or think about her niece,I have been in the darkest days and still feel i have not seen the sun come my direction in years..The worst part is when i would here,I know how you feel or dont worry you need to move on and leave that pain in the past..All i would be thinking in my head is No you Dont know because if you did you would not be sitting here telling me to move on,dont think about it,this will pass..It is so fustraiting to the person who has to deal with a battle..I stopped talking or confiding in anyone about my struggles and that is a lonely place to be..I have not and pray i never will be in the position of losing someone so dear to me by taking their life..If someone I know is in an unfamilar place of emptiness I would never say You Will Be Fine and better days are coming because I dont know what will be their tomorrow or their years to come..Things so tragic leave scars for life,Its unfortunate but its reality…I am looking forward to listening to Broadsided,Kay left me the link of the archived shows i missed..If there is anything i can do to help spreading awarness I am in..ThankYou for sharing this story and commenting on this topic…
Thanks for the post. We have to be aware that if words hurt us as adults and we have more coping skills then more teens – then we got to know it could kill our teens. And it does. so tragic..
Elizabeth I Just wanted to thank you for commenting on this subject..Good point,Words do hurt us i cant imagine being a teen with all those emotions going on and healing from them..Some leave emotional scars forever..
I agree with everything Traci wrote. Teens, and I was one of them, resist being around parents. I was loved unconditionally, no abuse ever & yet a teen is a teen.I know first hand teens who appeared stable, even comical, easy going & killed themselves the next day. No one could have guessed.
A few things. Bullying by peers is evil and sadly alive & mighty powerful. As parents we can’t be hip to hip with our kids when they’re teens. Most of the time they won’t tell us if they’re being bullied. A concerned parent might march into school & address it- that could cause even more trouble for a child. I don’t have the answer for that. I was that Mom of a bullied child & I was helpless. Thankfully, no suicide, but emotional scars? Yes.
Here’s what I do believe. No matter what is making a child feel desperate, the best and only thing parents can do is this: Make sure your child knows you love then unconditionally & always. Make sure your child knows who’s ultimately in charge. Parenting isn’t for cowards that’s for sure. Kids have to know their parents are their rocks beginning early on in their foundational years. They have to know loved based boundaries given by parents- no wavering. They have to know these boundaries are for their best interest & not for their parents convenience. They have to to be taught to be kind, not perfect, but kind. They have to know it’s okay to fail but be strong enough to stand back up and try again. We can’t control what kids do to each other when our kids walk out our doors. What we can and must do is make sure they know they are safe with us, loved by us, there for them no matter what. And most of all they have to know they’re loved even when they’re confused, angry, scared & lost. No child can feel forever lost if they know they are loved. They can rise above their demons or the demons of others if their backbone has been built on true love by the adults who raise them.
Hi Suzi, Thank You again for your outlook..I was telling Tracy that you are not the only one who agrees but the emails i recieved saying this same point turned around quikly into i am afraid to get to noisy with my teen or when i speak to my child they push me away so i leave it at that becuz i dont want them to hate me..This subject needs some light on it,what are your thoughs?
I know that teenagers want to move away from their parents and become adults (I raised six, I’m well aware!) but I really believe as parents we have to stay involved with our kids through their teen age years, even when they resist. Maybe especially when they resist. They need support and direction especially in the peer conscious world they live in.
Tracy I know we already spoke about this,but i have to say i am not the only one who feels the same as you,I have recieved tons of feedback via email,65% of Moms that read this said the same….BUT they also added that they try not to create WAVES between themselves and there teens because of their sensative age..They are afraid of losing their childs love by getting involved..That is the worst thing any parent could do..We become parents to guide our chidren threw lifes battles..We can be their friend but there is a limit,they have to respect our judgement and advice…I am finding some parents want a buddy so they step..
Another Shocking Statistic..What Can We Do As Parents, Grandparents, Aunts, Cousins, even A Best Friend To Try To Help These Sickening Statistics…Please Send Any Thoughts Or Ideas You Have..