Are Your Actions Working to Help You Succeed?
Wow! I keep discovering new things. When I was a kid I thought people over the age of 65 knew who they were “period end of sentence” (as a friend of mine would say). How wrong I was! Parents often tell kids, “Listen to Grandma! She’s older and she’s lived. She knows what to do!” I now know that although Grandma may have known how to do many, many, many things – she may not have had the best answer for every decision five year old Me needed to make. She was probably still learning. I’ve discovered that people (Grandma included) never need to stop learning – if their minds are at all intact. Everything, on our planet seems to be in development.
A wonderful friend of mine labeled me “A Helper” about a decade ago. I thought, “A helper? I shouldn’t be the “helper”! I want to be the performer!”
I find myself pointing my finger at myself and thinking, “There you go again Barbara! Stop it!” (When I’m angry with myself I call myself Barbara.)
I was berating myself for spending time helping friends with their pursuits and showcasing others songs – time I “should” have been spending on marketing my own book or writing my new EBook or presenting shows of my own songs.
Guess what? I recently realized that the very work I do in the Image field including writing books, speaking to groups, holding classes and working with individuals, is all about “HELPING” people! Why is “helping” a bad thing? Duh!
I’d also gotten angry at myself for spending three months putting together a show called Great Songwriters: Up Close, in which I honored three songwriters who wrote for major stars and movies and TV, etc. Okay, I did write a song with one of the writers, John Meyer, who has written for Judy Garland, Margaret Whiting and Eartha Kitt – but this show was about me honoring them. I hadn’t really gotten on the case to help the producers of the musical revue about MY songs find additional dates for performing that show, which had been very successful last March.
Guess what? The show about honoring the other writers turned out to be a hit! The house was packed! I got GREAT performers to sing the songs and the writers were ecstatic to be interviewed. AND – now the producers of the review of my own songs are finding more dates for that show – AND – I’ve made friends with the wonderful people who run the Metropolitan Room where I presented the songwriters show and I’ve helped them with a few projects. (the “Help” word again!)
What have you been making yourself wrong for, thinking that it’s taking time away from your working toward your own success? Maybe, what you’re making yourself wrong for is the very thing that will bring you success! Where do we learn what things are “wrong” for us to concentrate on and what things are “right”?
I’m learning that when my decision to give up something that appears to be getting in the way of my working on projects that use my strengths is based on thoughts I garner by getting still and allowing my instinct, rather than something I was falsely taught, to instruct me – then it’s best that I don’t spend my time on those things. However, if when I get quiet and ask the universe “Why do I feel I should give up a certain activity?” and I get an answer like, Grandma told you “That’s not your strength” or “Successful girls shouldn’t have to do that” or any number of things that aren’t really true – then hold off your decision that this is energy spent poorly until you have the chance to get quiet and look at your decision about what’s good for you through your own mind. I now see that I’ve often been falsely taught ideas by well meaning (and a few not so well meaning) people when I was a child or later on.
If I’m led to do something, in the first place, it might just be the thing I’d best be doing. If the actions are working I’ll now allow myself to try them, at least for a while and see if I get something from them – and I “cheer myself on” instead if making myself wrong. I’m saying YES to me!
You can say YES to YOU.