Rihanna and Chris Brown
“Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.”
That’s one of the many disturbing statements from the police report for Chris Brown and Robyn F., who is known as Rihanna, that was just released to the public. The rest involves Chris Brown saying he’s going to beat the shit out of her, smashing her head against the window, and causing several contusions all over Rihanna’s body. I’m sure everyone has already seen the picture of her bloody, swollen face from after the incident.
It has been three years since it happened, but the conversation of what happened seems to be resurfacing everywhere, with Chris Brown winning a Grammy (which he shouldn’t have even been nominated for), the recent rumors of them getting back together, and their collaborations on each other’s songs (that I refuse to listen to). So, I’m not even going to touch the abuse aspect of this. It’s horrible; Chris Brown should be in jail, end of story.
Pushing that aside, I want to talk about the sudden reaction I have been seeing from people, like the media, my friends, and stupid little teenage girls wanting to get in Chris Brown’s pants.
I’ll start with the forgiving media for letting it slide because of the fact he’s a celebrity, decent at lip syncing, and a great dancer. Not only was he invited to the Grammy’s, he performed and then went on to win. Did they forget that he beat up a woman who also happened to be performing the same night? Maybe I’d be less annoyed if he seemed just the least bit apologetic about it. Instead, he took to twitter after the Grammy’s and had a message for his haters:
The tweets were deleted shortly after, but unfortunately for him, the internet never forgets.
As much as I love my friends, sometimes I can’t believe what comes out of their mouths. We were standing in line at Wal-Mart and somehow the topic came up. I went on about how much I think Chris Brown is an ass and deserves to be in jail, but their reactions made me stop and think… are you serious? Not naming any names, they agreed that we don’t know the whole story and Rihanna probably had it coming and should have known not to press Chris Brown’s buttons. My friends say a lot of cringe-worthy things, but I think this tops it all. How could they possibly believe that anyone “has it coming” when they are abused by their partner? I don’t care what Rihanna could have said or done for him to react like that; it’s never okay, not in any situation. I know that Chris Brown has a history with abuse, watching his mother get beaten by his father, but that’s still no excuse.
The night of the Grammy’s I found an article that was compiled of tweets from a handful of girls after watching Chris Brown’s performance.
These are just two of the 25 that were listed. There is just so much wrong with that, I don’t even know where to start. Because someone is “hot” means that it’s okay for them to beat you up? Is that really what girls these days are thinking? I just pray to God they aren’t being literal, or else I fear for their future relationships.
As for Rihanna, I hope she doesn’t go back to him because the end result can be much worse.
What is the most important critical solution here? Humans appear to believe that it is all right to resonate with past proven harm…. eventhough, that is not right in front of them at this point of time. Beliefs therefore, could lead them towards harm. So how are those “beliefs” seen through for the reality and clear truth of what serves humans that is beyond harm, that is safe harmfree mutuality? There is an exceptional tool that can let go of any beliefs and free up fear or any feeling, especially those that limit and therefore allow for greater inner success and freedom beyond control issues. One may be at the highest point in career, such as Rhianna, yet that does not mean they are free of harm nor clear to do something about it…..when it may be right infront of them in an intimate relationship. What can be done to allow every single person on this planet to unravel who they are…beyond beliefs that can cloud clear truth, because it is controlled by external. Yes, there is an exceptional resource that everyone who has emotions can be working with right now thats simple to learn how to let go of any belief, thought, feeling thats usually unwanted to discover a deeper natural clear truth of what is. Theres more to humans than first ‘thought’ and it begins within. If tools havent been available to discover whats beyond any belief then how will any one ever know that? It is now available and real. Ive used the resource its excellent. As a young adult I also experienced adulthood sexual assault and rape by known individual who was also known in the media. Justice was not done. The resouce is called The Sedona Method http://www.sedona.com and I have a website where I can teach how to let go. http://www.freedomindcoaching.com coaching with The Sedona Method. I also attended Jack Canfields Breakthrough to Success which is where I first learned about the Sedona Method. Sandra Brown safe relationships website has heaps of education on safe relationships too. Hope this helps somebody…. or many !
Consequences and forgiveness are two separate things. My show on forgiveness with Tracy Strawberry explains it perfectly (http://archives.zeusradio.com/here-women-talk/thisisyourlife-couragetochange/this-is-your-life-12-5-2011/). Tracy shares about being raped and how she forgave her perpetrator so she could be free. Forgiveness did not relieve this person of consequences to his action and although she forgave her rapist, she would never want to be in relationship or communication with him.
As a domestic violence survivor, it is NEVER ok for a man to hit a woman. The reason most women who stay or return to their abuser are usually out of necessity and/or co-dependency. What is sad is that Rihanna is in a position where she isn’t or never has been dependant on Chris for anything and yet her “self-worth” is so jacked up that she feels drawn to this type of dysfunction. Isn’t so heartbreaking that these talented and high gifted people have so much torment and pain in their life and that certain cultural music and lifestyles promote this type of violence – just listen to Eminem or 50cent lyrics . . .
Violence against women has been accepted practice for a long time and it’s only getting worse with incidents like this. As I wrote in my piece about Chris and Rhianna (http://herewomentalk.com/its-about-your-teen-rihanna-and-chris-brown-again), parents must be more proactive with their teens and tweens and use these incidents to teach. Too many parents are not addressing important issues like violence, many may be suffering the effects themselves and have no idea how to make it better.
On the other hand, a celebrity like Rhianna could have become a wonderful anti-violence spokesperson, and chose not to. Because of that choice, our teens are seeing that she has accepted what happened to her and they are willing to find it acceptable as well. As for Chris Brown, he’s a typical abuser with issues that will probably never be repaired and most likely will go on to abuse again and again.
It is sad and scary that young girls see him as all hot and studly and they would submit to a beating in order to be with him. It is demeaning to themselves to talk this way. It is demeaning to women to assume that forgetting what he did is ok because he is a singing star(I use that term lightly). I don’t care who he is or how he dances or sings. If he continues to abuse women(and he probably will) I hope he goes to jail, loses his career and rots. As for Rhianna, I have my doubts about her sanity too in general and in this case. I hope someone around her will help look after her welfare if she hooks back up with him. As for me, I will encourage my girls to only seek guys who show respect, concern, and not EVER accept violence as ok. And, if anyone ever does strike them – well, God help him because I will NOT forget.
There are many aspects of this that I find disturbing, but the most is definitely those who chose to defend Chris Browns’ original act of beating Rihanna up. I can MAYBE concede arguments of him having repent and we shouldn’t hold a grudge forever, but to actually defend the original offense is insulting to all women and victims of abuse.
The fact that he comes from a history of abuse is an explanation, but not an excuse. I remember listening to an interview with an abuse victim and she put it perfectly: “Almost all abusers were victims of abuse, but not all victims of abuse become abusers.”
Right on. What in the hell is wrong with people? He and Charlie Sheen need to get booed out of show biz. And these teen girls — their comments make me ill. http://community.herewomentalk.com/group/standingasstrongsurvivorssass/forum/topics/how-does-charlie-sheen-get