The Bears, the woods, and toilet paper

I have little doubt that everyone who may venture in here to read this has heard the oft-repeated saying as to what bears “do in the woods”.  If you don’t, I’m not going to carry that line of thought further, but I will give you a hint.  Charmin bathroom tissue (aka toilet paper) has several entertaining commercials with the bears.  Cute, but not real classy in my opinion.

The episode that brings me to this blog post today is my experience this morning replacing the toilet tissue as some prefer to call it, in the master bathroom.  Please allow me to digress just a bit for some background to my thought pattern, if, indeed, my thoughts ever have a pattern.

I am old enough to have experienced adventures in “the little house away from the house”.  In fact, when we once visited family in Canada, the “little house” was actually a two-holer.  I am not, however, old enough to have experienced the “corn cob” for use in the outhouse.  We did, however, in Canada use a very thick magazine but it wasn’t the Sears Catalogue. Not sure what it was, but it worked.  I must point out, in the interest of clarity, that the house in which I grew up did have indoor plumbing.

Anyways, back to the reason for my blog inspiration this morning.  We usually buy whatever toilet tissue may be on sale at any given time.  Recently,however, my wife decided Charmin would become our tissue of choice. Now, here is the problem.  When I went to start the roll this morning, it was glued several sheets thick with what had to be the advanced super glue.  By the time I got the roll started for use, half of it was in the trash can because it kept ripping the sheet underneath the top one withOUT freeing up the next sheet.  I was beginning to think Charmin was playing some kind of trick on the unsuspecting.

So, as I departed the bathroom, having replaced the roll, I muttered under my breath “no wonder bears do it in the woods”.

Thank you, Charmin, for getting my day off to such an awesome start.  Might I mention that I NEVER, and I mean NEVER, as a teenager “T P ed” anyone’s home.  But if I knew exactly where those Charmin Bears live, I would be there tonight with a case of some other brand to decorate the trees.