Do you remember your first kiss? I do. Or I thought I did. I would have sworn on a stack of bibles, testified in a court of law, taken a lie detector test, or bet my first born that my first real kiss was from Doug Croft. I’m embarrassed to admit that it didn’t happen until high school as I was way behind the curve. There was a lot of kissing going on in middle school, just not with me. I was slow dancing but not kissing. Nope, it wasn’t until Freshman year that I found myself in the “Oh my God I think he’s going to kiss me” position. I was so nervous. Mr. First Kiss was adorable. I had a crush on him but never thought he’d reciprocate as he was an upper classman and hung out with cheerleaders. Oh how I longed to be a cheerleader as that was the sure fire route to popularity and kissing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t perky enough and truthfully this white girl couldn’t jump.

I remember everything about that kiss. Doug drove me over to his house after school in his sexy little sports car which dazzled me. He took my hand and we walked around back to his swimming pool–the setting was very “Town and Country.” Then in one instant as we stood by the pool he leaned down and kissed me. A moment I will never forget but a kiss I would. “Is this it? This is what all the hoopla is about? This is kissing on the lips? Ewwww,” was the bubble over my head. I didn’t chip any teeth which was a blessing because they were finally straight from years of braces. My lip wasn’t bleeding either which was good as it could have stained the collar on my new Villager blouse. We never kissed again. And that’s the story of my first kiss.

Not exactly–there is now evidence to the contrary. All the years of believing my first kiss was Doug Croft have been challenged. Harry Haskell has come forward out of the blue and claimed that he kissed me at a Bar Mitzvah party out on a golf course in 8th grade. What?! Au contraire, I declared, but he begged to differ. To make matters more confusing he stated that he could produce a witness. Jonathan Tucker apparently was there and saw him kiss me which is kind of “Peeping Tom-ish” but also very CSI. Was my first kiss memory a myth? I have no “Town and Country” sexy sports car story if Harry is right. It will take a period of adjustment and perhaps medication or therapy to come to terms with the fact that my first kiss was really my second.